Today is the day

I couldn't let the day pass without acknowledging the fact that today was supposed to be Season's original due date.  I think about Season all the time, along with everything that her premature death has meant to me in the past five months.  She has been on my mind a lot this month in particular.  Maybe it's because I'm wishing I was pregnant again, but my thoughts have mostly been concentrated on my short pregnancy with her.  I was thrilled when we found out we were pregnant- I already had felt like she was a long time coming, since I wanted to be pregnant at least a few months prior- but the excitement quickly took a back seat as the woes of the proverbial first trimester hit with full force.  I barely had time to regain my excitement about being pregnant when we found out that she was no longer alive and I had to go through the hardest thing I've ever experienced- delivering a baby that would never cry out or smile in her sleep. 

The Lord continues to tutor me by not only reminding me of Season's life, but He teaches me through my son, He teaches me through this PhD experience in Merced, He teaches me to trust in Him when our plans aren't working out the way we hoped. I'm grateful for His love that shapes me into what I should be. I will always value the lessons that Season's life has taught me.  I hope to continue to let her life's work impact mine.

Dearest Season, Thank you for the things your life has taught me. I know you have much greater purposes than to just teach your mom a few valuable lessons. You are doing a great work where you are, and I know you'll have the chance to be resurrected someday and fulfill other, equally important purposes. God be with you til we meet again. Love, Mom.

Pinterest love

Some of you may have heard of Pinterest.  It's the best website ever created for people like me who need just a little inspiration and can turn it into actual creations.  Here are the Christmas decorations I've made from ideas off of Pinterest.  I've made other items as well and gotten some great recipes.  So between Pinterest and the new Hobby Lobby in town, I'm gone- hook, line, and sinker.