Well, I figure since I am 24 weeks pregnant, it's about time that I announced it to the blogging world. Facebook found out a couple days ago.
We are thrilled to welcome a baby girl to our family in early-mid April. Sometime around the 11th-18th...since she'll come by way of C-section, we'll schedule it for a day in there somewhere.
To say that this pregnancy came as a surprise would be a vast understatement. A handful of months after Luke was born we realized that he was such an easy-going baby and we felt ready to try again for another. We absolutely figured that it would take months just like it did with Luke- perhaps even more time. So what's the harm in just going for it? Ha! Well, let that be a lesson. You never know what God has in store for your family.
Luke and this baby girl will be less than 16 months apart. When this realization occurred, I began to regret the thought, "Oh yeah, we're ready for another." Shock, disbelief, denial were just a few of the emotions I felt in the first several weeks. Even though I had all my classic early-pregnancy symptoms, I truly was in disbelief until I went to a 12-week appointment where I saw the little peanut on ultrasound. AND, even after that, until my 16-week appointment I started to doubt again- but I more attribute that disbelief not to the timing of it all, but more because of the past.
It wasn't until I started feeling her move a bit that I was not only recovered from the shock of it all, but had come to accept the fact that we were indeed having a baby sooner than later. Don't get me wrong, I was happy, I was just really surprised. Right before Thanksgiving, at my 20-week appt, we found out it was a girl. Based on how I'd been feeling, I'd thought it was another boy. It'll be a steep learning curve for me since I grew up pretty much wishing I had been a boy! However, I'm thrilled at the prospect of raising a girl.
Now to address why I waited so long to announce. Some people won't give it another thought. Some people will think it's weird that I waited so long. Some people may be hurt that I didn't tell them personally. There are a few reasons why I've let so much time pass without making it official.
1. I truly was in denial for several weeks. All because of the timing, I just couldn't believe how fast it happened.
2. I've never been comfortable drawing attention to myself in this way. It's just not easy for me to announce any pregnancy. And especially since losing Season, I don't like to set my heart on anything until after I start feeling the baby move which is usually somewhere between 16-20 weeks anyways.
3. Probably one of the biggest reasons is because of the guilt I've felt about how easy it was to get pregnant this time. I know the feeling of how time crawls by month-to-month when you're trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I have close friends who have struggled so much with this same issue or issues related to pregnancy period. I have just felt bad/guilty that I have a baby (Luke) and am expecting another one. It's hard to know how to tell people- especially people where I know this is a sensitive issue. Now, on the other hand, when I struggled to get pregnant with Luke- I never felt jealous/sad/mad at anyone I knew who happened to get pregnant during that time. So I know I absolutely shouldn't assign those same emotions to anyone else. I would hope that people would simply be happy for us and call it good- and that's more of what I should feel rather than the guilt I have been feeling.
Anyways- so there it is. I know it's long and drawn out- and perhaps I shouldn't be so vulnerable in such a public setting- but I guess I just felt the need to explain myself for a few reasons. Happy New Year everyone!!
